by Kelli Cottrell
 
COLD SPRINGS - Free massages, lattes and mochas. Tons of great food. Relaxation. Female bonding and lots of laughter.

Sound like a new spa in town?

It's not.

This was the scene at the Pastors' Wives Retreat at Jenness Park May 19-21.

"I did everything to keep from coming," said Jennifer McMillan whose husband is interim pastor of Acts International Christian Fellowship in Romoland, after they fled from Hurricane Katrina last year. "But I needed this."

Some 175 pastors' wives from across California were showered with love and attention by the Jenness Park staff, fed convicting and inspiring messages by speaker Lisa Papararo, and brought into God's presence through worship led by Rocio Watkins.

Themed "In My Father's Vineyard," the weekend represented how pastors' wives need to stay close to the vine, God.

Papararo encouraged the wives to stay in the "S.A.P." (scripture, accountability, prayer) to avoid "disconnecting" from the vine.

"We read at the Bible all the time, we are teaching it and reading it but not in it," Papararo said. "Don't let the enemy fool you into thinking you can't study scripture like your husband. Don't let books be a substitute for reading the scriptures."

She challenged the women to develop a passion for God's Word, find accountability in the congregation and pray like David prayed.

"I know what it's like when you pour in, pour in and then your husband's character is attacked," Papararo said. "I call them church dramas. It's easy to disconnect because you are dog-tired."

But the loss of connection and joy comes from being disconnected from the vine, she stated.

Another valuable tool God has given wives is the power of influence, Papararo noted. 

"We were not given authority in the home or church but God gave us a greater responsibility/influence," she said. "You are the greatest influence in your church, your kids' lives and your husband's life. What kind of influence do you want to be? There is nothing more powerful than a woman who rightly divides the Word of God."

She encouraged the women to deny themselves daily and be wise.

"Jesus didn't say deny you until it gets rough," Papararo said. "The resurrection power was released when He died to self. When you don't want to trust anyone in the church again ... you feel like you're putting your heart into the blender again and waiting for someone to come along and hit 'frappe.' That's what Jesus did for us."

On Saturday, the women were offered a choice of eight seminars to attend, including one in Korean and two in Spanish. 

Becky Dona, whose husband has been senior pastor of Tracy Southern Baptist Church for the past two years, enjoyed learning how to deal with difficult "pests in the field" taught by Peter Celum, professional therapist and California Southern Baptist Convention church and pastoral care specialist.

"I received good insight from this seminar and material to read, too," Dona said. "It's good to have a professional point of view. We're all dealing with different problem-people in our churches and I think this was great. It showed us how to deal with them step by step scripturally."

Other seminar topics included parenting, pruning for priorities and how to "get free from sins of the past."

Complimentary massages were offered by Margaret Sams, a professional massage therapist from Grass Valley. "It's a labor of love," said Sams, a member of Twin Cities Community Church.

Krista Kish of Pathway of Light church in Ontario received one of the massages.

"She taught me how to have better posture and did a whole background medical history on me to give me the best massage," said Kish, who sings on the church's worship team, teaches school full-time and is the mother of two. "I just need this time away." 

First-time attender Karen Evins agreed.

"Everybody at church thinks you have all the answers, they come to you for your opinion and it's very difficult being a pastor's wife," said Evins, whose husband is senior pastor of New Bethany Missionary Baptist Church in Modesto.

"We are usually expected to know how to handle everything. I love it here. There are no cell phones. It's peaceful and quiet and everyone is so nice and friendly. The food is great, too."

New this year was a Friday night mixer to welcome first-time participants and help them get to know other pastors' wives.

During free time Saturday afternoon, 38 women enjoyed Jenness Park's zip-line, 48 went on a "nature scavenger hunt" and 29 worked on crafts. 

Others enjoyed sitting by the river, reading, taking naps or catching up with old friends and meeting new ones.

"I enjoy seeing people I haven't seen in a long time," said Becky Noia, whose husband is on staff at Shoreline Baptist Church in Fountain Valley. "I also wanted to get the chance to get to know our new pastor's wife, and I got to spend some time here with her.

"The music this year has blessed my soul," Noia said with tears in her eyes. "I'm pretty cranky about worship, too. The speaker has been outstanding. It just blesses me to be here."

Kish agreed.

"I come back a better mom, wife and pastor's wife," she said. "It's always on my calendar every year."