“Mommy, is it time for snack yet?” Ashlyn, my five year old asks. “Not quite. We’ll have snack when we get back in the van on the way to the grocery store” I reply, knowing my window of calm for finding some quality Christian fiction books at our local library was quickly disappearing. Just grab a few that will be at least half-way entertaining before chaos breaks loose and all three of them are whining or running around like wild banshees. Then, we’ll be able to check the books out, get to the van, go grocery shopping, get Luke’s glasses adjusted, go to the bank drive-thru and make it home in time for lunch, naps and baby Ian’s next feeding. After checking out our 22 books, loading them under the stroller, and making our way towards the front door, three year old, pottie training Luke says, “Mommy, I need to go the bathroom.” With a sigh, we turn the kid barge around and head for the restroom…
Do you ever have a day when you think, “What in the world am I doing?” Times when you want to raise the white flag in surrender, or times when you’re so tired even getting ready for bed seems like too much work? Being a mother of preschoolers is tough work! If you’re not picking up after them, then you’re needing to don on the white and black referee shirt to keep them from fighting. Whether you are a stay-at-home mom or have a second job (mothering being your first), it can be hard to keep priorities in your life that benefit both you and your family.
As a mother of a preschooler(s), you well know how easily they can suck the energy out of you simply because they love being in and need to be in your space. As in all things, unless you are consistently being fed, you will have nothing left to give. Of course, being a mother of any child is a blessing so how can you prioritize your life to best benefit you and your preschoolers without losing your mind in the process? You must know God, know yourself, know your husband (if married) and know your kids.
Let’s begin with knowing God. This should be everyone’s number one priority but is most often the first to get moved down the list. Who has the time or energy left to have a true “quiet time” when the only time the house is quiet is in the middle of the night when everyone is sleeping (or hopefully sleeping)? Regardless of how little time we have, God first and foremost wants our heart. He is not bound by time and has no exact requirements of how long we spend with Him. We can meet God even in the midst of our busy days – praying for others as we fold laundry or do the dishes, worshipping with praise music while we drive, and spending even 10 minutes reading at least one chapter of the Bible each morning over breakfast. Your children need to see you reading the Bible and spending time with Him each day, even if for just a few minutes.
We can know God even when we can’t spend hours a day in solitude with Him. Most importantly, though, He simply wants us to come to Him and allow Him to meet us where we are. Matthew 6:33 says, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (NIV) God is the one who will fill us when we are empty. God is the one who will give us the strength to carry out the tasks that seem mundane each day. If we don’t know God, we will not have sustenance to give to others. We need to know God.
You also need to know yourself. This is one step I fear many mothers do not take the time to do. Understand that I’m not saying you should always put yourself before your family because there are times when you cannot do that, but again, if you have nothing to give to your family, you will not be happy and they will not either. What can you do for yourself that will “recharge” you and enable you to do the tasks God has called you to do as a wife and mother? For me, because I’m a stay-at-home mom, I look forward to every afternoon. My two youngest are napping and the oldest is in her room “resting”. I cherish this time and guard it fiercely. Sometimes I do things that need to get done but I spend at least some of the afternoon doing something that I want to do – reading or taking a short nap! It helps me recharge and be ready for our busy evenings. What is it that you can do to recharge? A hot bath (with the door locked!)? A walk around the neighborhood? Shopping time alone? A mommy afternoon or evening out with girlfriends? Know yourself and enlist some help so you can have some time to recharge!
Next on the list of priorities is knowing your husband if you are married. When things get busy and you’re so tired at the end of the week, it is easy to put off your marriage relationship. However, this is one relationship that needs to be constantly cultivated and actively sought after. We must fight for our marriages in this day and age and that takes time and effort but is well worth it. If Mommy and Daddy are happy together, your children will feel stable and secure. I’ve heard of many marriages that suffer when children enter the home because more time is spent on caring for them than maintaining a healthy marriage relationship. Make an effort to regularly go on dates without the kids, spend as much time talking as possible to get on the same page, and regularly take the time to find ways to better your relationship.
Finally, you need to know your preschooler. Even at their young ages, you know they have their own bent or personality. You know what they like and dislike, what makes them grumpy or cranky, what their strengths and weaknesses are. Find ways to encourage them and help them as they grow and learn each day. Teach them how to know God as an overflow of your relationship with Him. If they see your soft heart towards God, they will learn to love God as you do. Find their love language so you can speak their language. The key to knowing your preschooler is to know their heart.
The biggest impact we will have in our preschoolers’ lives is when we are seeking God with a sincere heart. We will be more at peace because we will have God’s assurance that He is with us in every activity we do each day. Just because we have preschoolers at home should not mean our spiritual lives go on hold for a few years! As Matthew 6:33 speaks of, if we seek His kingdom and continue to know Him more each day, all the other things will be given to us as well – like rest, energy, wisdom and so much more. He, our Source, will fill us with joy as we fulfill the awesome responsibility of raising a preschooler! He will help us to know Him, know ourselves, know our husbands and know our children. And some day, as I’ve heard from many people older than me, we will look back on this time and thank God for this season of motherhood.
Helpful books to check out:
The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman & Ross Campbell, M.D.
Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours by Dr. Kevin Leman
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